The Gentle Art of Saying No

No, it seems is not a word us ladies like to use. Perhaps it feels too negative? Too rude? Or maybe we’re just out of practice and not quite sure how to use it.

It’s time to get comfy with saying no. Why? Because when we do, we’re saying yes to something us. Or more importantly, to someone. And that’s ourselves. Saying no is how we make time for me-time.

Here are some phrases that allow you to gently say no:

• I’d rather not…
• I’ve decided not to…
• I can’t do that for you…
• This doesn’t work for me.
• I’m not comfortable…

And, here are some pointers on how you execute it:

Practice first

Whether it’s role-playing with a friend or saying it to yourself, get familiar with what you want to say. Because when the nerves kick in, you want your gentle phrase to be on the tip of your lips.

Don’t apologise

Easier to say, harder to pull off, right? As women we’re conditioned to say sorry. But fight against instincts and you’ll prevent undermining the hard work behind your gentle no.  

Stand your ground

Particularly important if this is the first time you’ve said a gentle no to someone. Repeat your gentle no and embrace the awkward silence as others begin to accept your boundaries.